Thursday, March 31, 2011

LOVE ME!

I'm stealing a bit from Katie, who writes my favorite blog Marriage Confessions. Near the beginning of her blog, she noticed that her blog hits were spiking. She was so excited until her husband pointed out that all of her traffic sources were from google searches for a picture of Godzilla. Apparently people were searching "Godzilla Marriage" or "Godzilla Wife" or the like and they were all being routed to her page.

Well, the same thing seems to be happening to me. My hits aren't necessarily spiking (at least not as much as Katie's were), but I'm noticing that I am getting a lot of traffic from people Googling something (I have absolutely no idea what they could be searching to get this) and clicking on this picture:




I know! Weird!

When Katie noticed that Godzilla was giving her more traffic, she tried posting pictures of other popular things in her blog to bring in more traffic. And now I will shamelessly copy her!







Come all ye mindless masses! Read my blog! I don't have much to say, but I sure look cute when I say it!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

More Babies

And this time, they match!

Check out this adorable video of twin boys having a conversation filled with questions, answers, hand/arm gestures, hesitant pauses and punch lines. I've narrowed their conversation topic down to two possibilities. They are are either a) Discussing where the baby closest to the corner's sock is and the other baby is chewing him out for losing his sock AGAIN or B) Discussing the effects of Global Warming on the earth. Either way, I have deemed them adorable enough to post this video on my blog.



These kids are going to be lawyers one day. Just wait.


Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Collegiate Weight Battle

Before I moved on campus and started my first semester at LSU, my weight was the lowest it had ever been. I didn't realize it then, but that was so unfair. Here I was with what was probably the best body I'll ever have and I only got to enjoy it for about a month before I was forced onto the college diet. As soon as I feel pretty great about the way I look, it is snatched away from me by Papa John's, Taco Bell, Quiznos, McDonald's and the cafeterias.

I noticed weight gain almost immediately, which freaked me out. I was really heavy when I was younger and even though I lost about 30 pounds through Weight Watchers, I never lost that weight anxiety. And that anxiety is running in full force now that my only options are fast food and things fried/covered in fat/covered in butter at the cafeterias.

So, I started tracking. I found this really great free app on my iPhone called My Fitness Pal. It's a daily calorie/nutrition tracker that gives you a daily caloric intake goal based on how much you weigh, how much you want to weigh, and how fast you want to lose it. And it's got a huge database of foods. It's, in my opinion, the perfect wight loss aid.

Except I have the self control of someone with very little self control and keep forgetting to update it. So here's where this blog comes in. I discovered a new feature on the website today: the weight loss ticker. So from now on, this ticker will be at the bottom of all of my blog posts. Maybe if know my readers (I recently discovered the stats section of Blogger, there are actually a few of you out there!) can see how much I am (or am not) losing, that will keep me motivated to keep track. My fear of judgement will remind me that I cannot get of track!!

Once again, I'm not sure if any of what I just wrote makes sense, but it is what it is. I'm fat. I want to not be fat. I'm bringing my blog into the equation.


The journey begins:

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter



And if anyone says "Why don't you try excercising?" I might have to cyber slap you. If I had time to do something other than study and sleep, don't you think I might have tried incorporating more exercise into my routine?!

We...maybe not. But still, don't you dare mention it!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Babies

Much to the dismay of my roommate, I am kind of baby obsessed. So every time I discover a cute baby video on YouTube, I freak out and show it to her about 10,000 times.

The most recent baby discovery:



How can you watch that and not smile and/or spend 10 minutes rolling around in your bed laughing?

Of course, it's hard to beat the diaper king of all baby videos:



Whether you want children or not, you have to admit that babies are pretty freaking cute.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Know Your Ages of Consent!

My roomate's sociology professor shows them the weirdest shit in class. Then she shows me and I, in turn, show you.

This week:

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Manners and Muffins

At this moment, I am waiting for Chocolate Chip Pancake Muffins to come out of the over. I wanted chocolate chip pancakes but I didn't want to deal with the hassle of making pancakes. So muffins seemed like the next best thing. Perhaps if you're good and wait through the entire blog post, I'll let you see them :) (I wish I could share them with all of you, but the sending food through the internet thing hasn't quite been perfected yet. They'll taste awful by the time you get them!)

While we're waiting for my muffins to do their thing, I would like to have a conversation with all of the men out there about women and manners. When in the vicinity of the women, you need to remember your manners

Let me begin our conversation with a little story. A personal story. I was in Lafayette today for a vocal competition and performance. I drove up last night, stayed in a hotel, did the competition today, and drove back tonight. Driving back, I wore the same outfit that I wore driving up: A denim skirt, an (adorable) pink shirt, and flip-flops. I was also wearing rather heavy make-up and big-ish hair because of the performance (my musical theatre class from LSU performed "All That Jazz" from CHICAGO). On my way out of town, I decided I wanted to get an Icee and something to snack on for my drive back, so I stopped at a gas station. As I was getting out of my car, a man who looked to be in his twenties and a woman who looked to be his girlfriend/wife/SO/mistress/etc. walked up to the passenger side of the car next to me. As I'm walking the convenience store, I look in the mirror like window and unmistakably see the man behind me lift up his sunglasses, look at my butt, and mouth "Damn." This instance actually isn't that bad. I know that men are going to look at women. Evolution calls for it. This man did not speak to me, harass me, or otherwise bother me. If I hadn't looked up at that moment, I would have been none the wiser. But it struck a bad nerve with me because it reminded me of other instances when men (complete strangers) have spoken to me, harassed me, and even tried to touch me based on my appearance. I have been whistled at, honked at, followed around grocery stores, had a man whisper that Plank Road (a road in my town known for prostitution) could use a pretty white girl like me. I've even had a man try to grab my butt while I was shopping in a nearby grocery store. Not only is this sick and inappropriate. All of these and similar actions are incredibly offensive and hurtful. When this happens to me, I just want to crawl in a hole and cry. And sometimes I do cry. I feel disgusting and worthless and like trash. When a man does this woman, it says "I don't see you as a living, feeling person. You a simply a pretty body with cute shoes walking around for my enjoyment." And that, my imaginary friends, is total crap.

I am not saying that a man cannot take notice when an attractive woman walks by. That's fine. The propogation of the human species kind of depends on it. But, gentleman, do so with respect. You may look, but please keep all hands, feet, whoops, hollers, catcalls, and comments to yourself. You should never get close enough to touch me or whisper in my ear. I should never be able to smell you or your nasty breath. And if you follow me or try to touch me, expect me to make a scene. Because I am a person. I am intelligent. I am talented. I am kind. I am hard working. And I do not deserve to be treated like a piece of meat.

Look at you! You made it through the entire post! You know what that means? Chocolate Chip Pancake Mini-Muffins!



I think they came out pretty well! I just made up some boxed pancake mix, added as many chocolate chips as I wanted, put the mix in mini-muffin tins, and baked them at around 350 degrees (I think. My oven is kind of moody. Sometimes it's the right temperature. Sometimes too hot. Sometimes too cold. It's like a game!) for around 10-12 minutes. I peeked and poked a couple of times to check on them. I kind of wished the bottoms and sides had browned a little more but what can you do. They satisfied my chocolate chip pancake craving and were a lot easier to make than pancakes. Plus, the shape makes them a lot easier to store.

And, as an added bonus, the results of Emily spending a morning alone in a hotel room:


Toothbrush Time!


I'm kind of obsessed with my dress.


My nose and forehead are kind of huge...

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Bad Ideas.

Sleeping through my entire Mardi Gras Break was probably a bad idea.

But a worse idea was buying a 25 ounce Monster Energy Drink, Twizzlers, and potato chips at 11:00 at night and watching When Harry Met Sally and Eddie Izzard while consuming said Monster, Twizzlers, and chips. Energy supplement+junkfood+well-rested=very nauseous stomach and no sleep. I finally gave up on sleep around 6:00 in the morning, took a shower, did a load of laundry (Yay for clean underwear!), painted my toenails, and caught up on Glee. I have been more productive in the first two hours of being "up" this morning than I am on a typical Saturday. Is that pathetic?


Monster is not good.

We had so much energy that we flew to the moon and...uh...licked the Earth...

Monday, March 7, 2011

Problem

The bag of Hersey's kisses that I have been munching on for the past three days is now empty.

Please send help in the form of more Hershey's Kisses. And Jimmy Johns. A #4.

I will be patiently waiting right here.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

I Always Said I Was Born In the Wrong Decade

But perhaps I was wrong.

I've never liked any of my yearbook pictures, but I've realized that they could have been a lot worse.

I always thought I belonged in the 50s. I would walk down the street every morning to high school wearing my poofy skirt and saddle shoes. And when I was just far enough away from the house that my parents could not see me, I would meet up with my super swell boy who would carry my books and let me wear his letterman jacket when I was cold. Because he was the star quarterback of the football team. Duh. But I now see that I would instead be the girl that spent all of her time in the corner of the library. The girl whose name nobody could quite remember. The girl who would every now and then walk face first into the star quarterback's locker just as he opened it.



See? What's her name. Graduated in Down-the-Street High School's class of 1952.

Or maybe the 70s? I would straighten my hair on my mother's ironing board and wear flowers in my hair and protest EVERYTHING and burn my bras and get a peace sign tatooed on my ass!



Or maybe I would just go back to the library...

But the 80s! Yes! High school in the 80s! I would wear giant bows and neon colors and cut the collars out of all of my t-shirts and sweatshirts and wear brightly-colored chunky, plastic hoop earrings! I would be totally awesome!



Ok....back to the library.

But if I were in high school in 1992 instead of a mere infant, I would crimp my hair and wear oversized sweatshirts and parachute pants and press-on nails and other stereotypical 90s things! I would be the girl that everyone wanted to be or be with!



I know..I know...Library.

But if I graduated in 2000! What if instead of being a chubby second grader wearing a plaid jumper I was that popular high school senior who surfed the world wide web and talked on her chunky cell phone and walked around wearing shirts that were always just a few inches too short and danced to N*Sync, Brittany Spears, Christina Aquilera, and had a poster of the Backstreet boys on the ceiling about her bed. And I would always put my Tamagotchi pet's needs before my own.



Or, me, my flat hair, giant head, and Nelson the Tamagotchi would just stay in the library.

So yes, I have been shown the error of my thoughts. Sure, I still spent almost all of my lunch periods in the library during high school. But at least my hair was somewhat tame and my clothes were somewhat stylish (though I seem to have an unhealthy obsession with Cardigan Sweaters over white shirts). And in high school 2010, you really couldn't ask for much more than a few pictures that were decent enough to post on Facebook. At least I had that.



And there is nothing wrong with the library.

How disastrous would you have looked in decades past? Find out!