Farewell to Forum

The past few weeks have been insane to say the least.  Yesterday, I closed A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum at Baton Rouge Little Theater.  That show really surprised me.  To be honest, I went into the show just looking for my theater fix!  I hadn't done any theater in over a year and was starting to get a little twitchy.  But Forum turned out to be one of the top theater experiences of my life thus far.  I made so many amazing new friends and, with the help of those friends, experienced a lot of personal growth.  This cast truly kept all the drama onstage and just enjoyed being with each other offstage.  And you know what, guys?  I've been smiling so much these past few weeks, and it's all thanks to the wonderful people this show has brought into my life!

The wonderful ladies of the cast!  We had a ritual that we did before every show called TTA.  What does it stand for?  Well, that's our little secret!

The entire cast of Forum!

At the end of the final show, we had to do something called "strike," which basically means "tear the show down."  You clear out and clean the dressing rooms, put away the props, and tear the set down.  

Girl power!

Last time around!

Yesterday's strike was different from a regular strike in that in addition to tearing down the set, we had to strip the entire stage to prepare it for an upgrade. This included taking down the legs and the curtains and stripping all of the lights off of the fly rails.  Once everything was out of the theater, we all felt so small. 

Standing on the completely empty stage reminded me just how amazing theatre really is.  At it's heart, theatre is essentially a space, a person (or a group of people), and an idea.  You start there and it grows into something truly amazing that can take a person away from whatever is troubling them, even if it's just for a little bit.  I mean, how cool is that?

And theatre has a really neat way of bringing people together—people who probably never would have crossed paths otherwise.  But theatre brings them together and something just clicks.  Forum brought a wonderful person to me.  Blogosphere, meet Chris.

Chris was our drummer for Forum.

 He makes me happy.

I always feel sad at the end of a show–sad because I'll miss performing, I'll miss the characters, and because I'l miss the people.  But I didn't feel sadness yesterday.  I felt excited!  Yesterday may have been the end of Tintinabula and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.  But it's only the beginning of so many new and amazing friendships.  And I can't wait to see where those friendships take me!

It All Started With a Big Bang

Tonight, I got to spend an evening with wonderful friends (one of which I shared a 10x13 room with for a school year) watching Big Bang Theory and eating ridiculous amounts of food and talking about Pinterest.  It was wonderful and I am so exhausted that deep thoughts and insightful phrases are just not happening in my mind right now.  I'm not even sure if that last sentence made any sense...

But I wouldn't leave y'all without at least some pictures!  Keep an eye out!  One of these pictures is the 30 Day Photo Challenge Picture!

This is the famous crack dip!  And guys, it was so good!  I definitely recommend this dip to anyone with taste buds! And make a lot!   It didn't last long :)  

Blogisphere, meet Abby! I'm not sure you're ready for Abby...

...but she's ready for you!  Abby was my roommate my first year of college and without her, I never would have been introduced to Big Bang Theory.  I am eternally grateful.  

Hey, look!  It's Day 24: A Smile!  (And my friend Cami hiding from the camera!)

Abby spilled water.   Instead of getting up and getting a paper towel, she thought it would be more efficient to use her sweatpants leg to clean it up...

A Big Bang Theory night with Abby, Cami, and Emily is just not complete without a little visit from Jimmy Johns.

She whips her hair back and forth.  She whips her hair back and forth.

Night, y'all :)

Side note: I have such a crush on Jim Parsons :P  Have any of y'all seen The Muppet Movie yet?  He makes a cameo in it.  It kind of makes my life :)

Roller Coaster

I have had a rough couple of days.  That's why I didn't blog yesterday and I'm not getting around to it until late tonight.  I've had some incredibly low lows and some "ok" and even "good" moments as well.  For the most part I've just been incredibly sad.  Not angry.  Not confused.  Not struggling to understand.  Just really, really sad.

But I'm trying something new.  I'm embracing the sad when it comes.  I'm not bottling it up.  I'm not pretending everything's okay.  And I'm not running away.  If I feel like cry, I am going to cry.  If I'm in a situation where I feel like I can't cry, then I leave and find a place I feel safe crying.  I don't try to rush it and I don't try to stifle it.  Sometimes I feel better after this, but most of the time I just feel numb.  But once I've cried and let the sadness happen, I move on.  I find a distraction.  I watch tv or read or clean my room or blog.  The sadness is still there, but it's kind of a released sadness.  I've acknowledged it's existence, I've stopped and expressed it, and I'm going on with my day knowing that sadness is still there, but trying not to let it consume me.

So, yes.  That's been the low.  I've been crying and moving on.  Sometimes I can distract myself until the sad fades into the background.  Sometimes I have to cry again 30 minutes later.  But it doesn't matter how often I cry.  What matters is that I am trying to not let this sadness define me.  Yes, I am incredibly sad. But "sad is not me," if that makes any sense.  By embracing the sad like this, I'm able to recognize and appreciate the good a little more.

Speaking of the good...

Let's pretend it's yesterday and do 30 Day Photo Challenge Day 10: Something I Made!

This is my dresser that I keep in my closet.  Technically, I didn't make the whole thing.  We found it on the side of our neighbor's curb waiting for trash pick up.  It was kind of stained and dirty, but we cleaned it and kept it on our back porch for a while.  This past summer, I gave it another good cleaning, sanded it and painted it. I think it's adorable and I love it :)  

Now fast forward back to today (back to the future?  or would that just be back?).

Day 11: Something Fun!

Well, right now this is more "That's exciting."  It will be fun when I get to redeem it.

My apartment complex did a few contests this morning to get people to recommend the complex to friends on Facebook.  It was basically whoever went to their Facebook page and clicked the "Recommend" button first won a prize.  I missed the first three, but I happened to log onto Facebook seconds after they posted the fourth status, so I recommended and won a gift certificate for a nearby hair salon!  

Not the best picture of me, but there you go!  The certificate says it's for a "style," so I'm not sure if that means something like a haircut with a blowout or if it means going in and getting your hair styled, like for a special occasion.  I'll call and find out at some point.  But either way, it's free! And I love free!  Plus, when they posted this picture on complex's facebook page, they captioned it with "We have some pretty cute winners here at (name of complex)!" which was a nice little confidence boost :)

Something else good that I don't have a picture for: I got to see my roommate from last year last night and today!  I've run into her a couple of times but I didn't get to actually spend time with her until last night.  Like I said, yesterday was a tough one for me.  I didn't have a lot of energy or motivation for anything.  I was lying in my bed at 10:30 trying to talk myself into at least taking a shower before going to sleep (yeah...that bad) when she texted me to invite me to a party she was at in my apartment complex (literally a minute walk from my door). I thought about it for a minute and decided to take control of myself.  I decided that I was going to take a shower, put on some make-up, put on an outfit that I feel good in and be social.  And I'm so glad I did it.  My old roomie is one of those girls that just knows what to say about things like this.  She's got that perfect combination of "That's so stupid," "Have hope," and "This will get easier," down.  I had barely talked to her since we moved out and I missed her! I got to have lunch with her today too, which was great!  Remember my post about Friendship from a few weeks ago?  I still have to remind myself that these friendships take effort if you want to maintain them, even if that effort is something that seems as small as getting out of bed and putting on some make-up.  Last night was a perfect example of how much that effort is worth it.  When I left the party last night, I wasn't thinking about how sad I was.  I was thinking about how glad I was that I made that effort and got to see my roommate again!  Baby steps can still get you places!

So there you have it.  The past couple of days have been incredibly difficult, but the good is what I need to appreciate and remember.  Today has been one month since the break-up.  Monday would have been our seventh month anniversary.  The next few days are going to continue to be difficult.  I am going to have highs and I am going to have lows.  But I will not let the lows define me or consume me and I will not let the highs go unnoticed.  I am going to pray a lot.  I am going to rely on my friends.  I am going to make efforts to keep those friends.  I am going to embrace the sad and be thankful for the good.  And, if I'm lucky, I'll make it off of this roller coaster without throwing up.

Friendship

You guys, I have a confession to make:  I am an awful friend.

Or actually, I'm a nearsighted, lazy friend.  I'm horrible about keeping in touch and when I do actually keep in touch, it's usually only when it's convenient for me.

One thing I kept repeating to my now ex-boyfriend (That's the first time I've used that word...it's a little scary) after our break-up was "Relationships aren't easy.  They take work."  And that is 100% true.  Relationships don't just happen.  They take work and commitment from both parties, even when it's not convenient. You may have a huge test on Tuesday, but it doesn't mean that you can't do something for your S.O. on Monday night.  You have to tweak you schedule and perhaps go out of your way to do something, but you do it because your relationship and time with that person is meaningful to you.

Well, about 30 minutes ago, I had a freaking revelation.  Non-romantic relationships require that same work and commitment if you want them to work.  You can't just text your girlfriend to hang out because you have an unexpected empty Friday night and then ignore her the next week when she wants to make plans with you.  It's give and take, just like a romantic relationship (minus the kissy kissy and the sexy sexy).

And (this one I'm super guilty of) you can't just wait around for someone to reach out to you to do something.  You have to put on your grown-up panties and take some initiative.  Reach out to your friends! Come up with plans! Get lunch with a girlfriend between classes!  Catch a movie after work!  You have to take initiative to make friends too.  I've come to realize that sitting in class quietly and waiting for people to talk to you is not an effective way to make friends.  It just doesn't work.  Especially in my major, which is particularly popular among girls in sororities so everyone already had friends coming in.  I have to take my nose out of Facebook, turn to the person sitting next to me, and say, "Hi, I'm Emily.  What's your name?"

And now, the thing I am most guilty of.  Just because you are in a romantic relationship does not mean that the rest of your relationships can fall to the wayside and that new relationships don't matter anymore.  You shouldn't stop making friends and maintaining old relationships just because you have a significant other. I had to learn this the hard way.  If you don't maintain those friendships and your relationship suddenly goes kerplunk, what do you have to fall back on?  I am so incredibly lucky that I have friends who were still there for me despite my less than stellar record as of late, because I don't know where I would be right now without them.

I know, all of these points seem super obvious.  Because they are.  But something being obvious and taking something to heart are two completely different things.

So today, with all of you as my cyber witnesses, I am going to make a vow.  I vow to work harder at my friendships.  I vow to tear down my walls and reach out to people.  And I vow to appreciate each and every person who has ever given me their friendship, a moment of their time, or even a hello.  Because they are all important to me and added something unique and special to my life.



And just a sample of the wonderful friends that I have!