Friendship

You guys, I have a confession to make:  I am an awful friend.

Or actually, I'm a nearsighted, lazy friend.  I'm horrible about keeping in touch and when I do actually keep in touch, it's usually only when it's convenient for me.

One thing I kept repeating to my now ex-boyfriend (That's the first time I've used that word...it's a little scary) after our break-up was "Relationships aren't easy.  They take work."  And that is 100% true.  Relationships don't just happen.  They take work and commitment from both parties, even when it's not convenient. You may have a huge test on Tuesday, but it doesn't mean that you can't do something for your S.O. on Monday night.  You have to tweak you schedule and perhaps go out of your way to do something, but you do it because your relationship and time with that person is meaningful to you.

Well, about 30 minutes ago, I had a freaking revelation.  Non-romantic relationships require that same work and commitment if you want them to work.  You can't just text your girlfriend to hang out because you have an unexpected empty Friday night and then ignore her the next week when she wants to make plans with you.  It's give and take, just like a romantic relationship (minus the kissy kissy and the sexy sexy).

And (this one I'm super guilty of) you can't just wait around for someone to reach out to you to do something.  You have to put on your grown-up panties and take some initiative.  Reach out to your friends! Come up with plans! Get lunch with a girlfriend between classes!  Catch a movie after work!  You have to take initiative to make friends too.  I've come to realize that sitting in class quietly and waiting for people to talk to you is not an effective way to make friends.  It just doesn't work.  Especially in my major, which is particularly popular among girls in sororities so everyone already had friends coming in.  I have to take my nose out of Facebook, turn to the person sitting next to me, and say, "Hi, I'm Emily.  What's your name?"

And now, the thing I am most guilty of.  Just because you are in a romantic relationship does not mean that the rest of your relationships can fall to the wayside and that new relationships don't matter anymore.  You shouldn't stop making friends and maintaining old relationships just because you have a significant other. I had to learn this the hard way.  If you don't maintain those friendships and your relationship suddenly goes kerplunk, what do you have to fall back on?  I am so incredibly lucky that I have friends who were still there for me despite my less than stellar record as of late, because I don't know where I would be right now without them.

I know, all of these points seem super obvious.  Because they are.  But something being obvious and taking something to heart are two completely different things.

So today, with all of you as my cyber witnesses, I am going to make a vow.  I vow to work harder at my friendships.  I vow to tear down my walls and reach out to people.  And I vow to appreciate each and every person who has ever given me their friendship, a moment of their time, or even a hello.  Because they are all important to me and added something unique and special to my life.



And just a sample of the wonderful friends that I have!