Friendship

You guys, I have a confession to make:  I am an awful friend.

Or actually, I'm a nearsighted, lazy friend.  I'm horrible about keeping in touch and when I do actually keep in touch, it's usually only when it's convenient for me.

One thing I kept repeating to my now ex-boyfriend (That's the first time I've used that word...it's a little scary) after our break-up was "Relationships aren't easy.  They take work."  And that is 100% true.  Relationships don't just happen.  They take work and commitment from both parties, even when it's not convenient. You may have a huge test on Tuesday, but it doesn't mean that you can't do something for your S.O. on Monday night.  You have to tweak you schedule and perhaps go out of your way to do something, but you do it because your relationship and time with that person is meaningful to you.

Well, about 30 minutes ago, I had a freaking revelation.  Non-romantic relationships require that same work and commitment if you want them to work.  You can't just text your girlfriend to hang out because you have an unexpected empty Friday night and then ignore her the next week when she wants to make plans with you.  It's give and take, just like a romantic relationship (minus the kissy kissy and the sexy sexy).

And (this one I'm super guilty of) you can't just wait around for someone to reach out to you to do something.  You have to put on your grown-up panties and take some initiative.  Reach out to your friends! Come up with plans! Get lunch with a girlfriend between classes!  Catch a movie after work!  You have to take initiative to make friends too.  I've come to realize that sitting in class quietly and waiting for people to talk to you is not an effective way to make friends.  It just doesn't work.  Especially in my major, which is particularly popular among girls in sororities so everyone already had friends coming in.  I have to take my nose out of Facebook, turn to the person sitting next to me, and say, "Hi, I'm Emily.  What's your name?"

And now, the thing I am most guilty of.  Just because you are in a romantic relationship does not mean that the rest of your relationships can fall to the wayside and that new relationships don't matter anymore.  You shouldn't stop making friends and maintaining old relationships just because you have a significant other. I had to learn this the hard way.  If you don't maintain those friendships and your relationship suddenly goes kerplunk, what do you have to fall back on?  I am so incredibly lucky that I have friends who were still there for me despite my less than stellar record as of late, because I don't know where I would be right now without them.

I know, all of these points seem super obvious.  Because they are.  But something being obvious and taking something to heart are two completely different things.

So today, with all of you as my cyber witnesses, I am going to make a vow.  I vow to work harder at my friendships.  I vow to tear down my walls and reach out to people.  And I vow to appreciate each and every person who has ever given me their friendship, a moment of their time, or even a hello.  Because they are all important to me and added something unique and special to my life.



And just a sample of the wonderful friends that I have!

May I Have a Kitten?

My apartment doesn't allow pets.

I know, major bummer.

But I can blame myself for that.  When I was apartment hunting, no pets allowed was actually one of my requirements.  I love and adore animals, but I'm not in a place in my life where I have the time or money to care for a pet of my own.  Plus, I had nightmares of being paired with a roommate with a cat or dog that made messes everywhere that said roommate never cleaned up.  My brother experienced a cat situation with the first roommate in his current apartment that was so bad that the flooring in the closet where the roommate kept the litter box had to be replaced after he moved out.  That was enough to convince me that if I was going to live with a cat, it was going to be my own cat.

But, that has left me needing some serious kitty in my life.  My wonderfully sweet kitty Misty lives at home and I don't get to see her nearly as much as I want to.  Luckily, a wonderful new friend has introduced me to this:

http://org2.democracyinaction.org/o/5205/p/salsa/web/common/public/signup?signup_page_KEY=6361

Yes! A link!

Excited yet?  Huh? .....No?  Okay, let me explain.

Click on that link and you will be directed to a page featuring a video of kitties.  They may be playing, they may be sleeping, depends on your luck.  What's luck got to do with it, you ask?  Well, my inquisitive friend, that video is a live feed.  Whatever these kittens are doing at that exact moment is what you will see.  To the right of the video feed, you'll see an orange button.  Go ahead....click on it. Now you have to wait for your turn.  There's a countdown timer above the video so you know how long you'll have to wait. When it's finally your turn, buttons labeled 1, 2, and 3 appear, as well as arrow buttons.  The arrow buttons control the camera in the room and the 3 buttons above control....wait for it...CAT TOYS!  Yep...you, my lethargic friend, can play with these kittens from the comfort of your own couch/bed/toilet!  There are three toys in the room connected to some sort of magical robotic device that is somehow magically connected to your computer so that for two glorious minutes, you can play with these kitties.

I know.  Magical.

So...why are you still here?  Why are you not playing with kitties?  Why am I not playing with kitties?!

Before I rush off to get in line before you, I leave you with pictures of my own beautiful animals:

Hunter, my sweet, senile Hound dog.

Harley, the sweetest kitty until he decides he's bored with you. Once he's bored, watch out.

Misty, my lovable, sweet, perfect angel who likes to do chalk drawings with me.

Sweet dreams, cyber friends.

Absence

So...I uh....kind of haven't given this blog any thought in about 6 months.

 I've been happy. I've been in love. A comfortable love. I've been distracted (in a good way) and this just kind of fell to the wayside.

Well, all of that has changed. Last week my heart was broken. I'm still hopelessly in love. In fact, I think I'm even more in love now than I was 10 days ago. But now that love isn't returned. Sad, sad situation. I'm in the middle of writing a long blog post about all of that, but I'm debating on whether or not I should post it. On one hand, I think I would be very therapeutic for me to write everything out and put it out there. But on the other hand, this isn't all about me. Despite my heartbreak and pain, I have to remember that I wasn't the entire relationship. I was only 50% and in writing about my relationship, I'm also writing about someone else's relationship. It would be very easy to start pointing fingers and naming names, so I have to be very careful.

 So, let's just leave it at that for now. I'm back! The circumstances absolutely suck beyond reasonable suckitude, but it is what it is. I'm excited about getting back on the blogging bandwagon :)

 On a different note, oh my goodness! There have been quite a bit of you stopping by in my absence! My highest visit count ever was this past September: 635 of you wandered by! I don't know what you were looking for, but I'm glad you stopped by! There should be something to read here sometime in the immediate future :) Perhaps even something totally awesome!

 And on that note, I leave you with a video that makes me giggle uncontrollably, no matter how sad I may be: