Surprising Myself

So far, this week has been slow and stressful.  I've had three exams in the past two days as well as a quiz.  I am also in the last week of non-technical rehearsals for The Importance of Being Earnest, which is coming along wonderfully! I am so proud of this show and my work in it. I'm loving every minute of rehearsals.  But, I'm taking it very seriously.  Therefore, it is adding some stress. Good stress, but stress, nonetheless.

And on top of that, I'm running again.

By far, one of the most positive changes to my life since I met Boyfriend has been running.  I've never had a good relationship with running.  I used to spend all of my recesses and lunch periods in the school library.  I dreaded the President's Physical Fitness test in elementary and middle school because I was always the last person to finish the mile run and my time was always over 25 minutes.  In high school, I took a year of yoga to avoid all the running that was required in the general P.E. classes.  Running and I just didn't mix.

Then enters boyfriend.  Boyfriend runs.  A lot.

When we first started dating, running didn't play a huge part in our relationship.  Boyfriend would go running.  He would return.  I wouldn't let him touch me until he showered.  End of story.  Let's go get pizza.  Then one day, after complaining about the weight I'd gained recently, I declared that we had to start eating healthier and that I had to go back to my really strict, pre-Boyfriend diet.

"Or," Boyfriend said, "You could start running with me."

"HA!"

End of conversation.

But after that point, every time I mentioned my dissatisfaction with my weight, Boyfriend would suggest I start running.  And every time, I responded with a bitter "HA!"  Me? Run?  Never.  That's insane.

Then one day, instead of laughing in his face, I said ok.  I don't know why. Maybe the moon was in the seventh house and Jupiter aligned with Mars? Maybe I had been hypnotized?  Maybe I was just sick of him bringing it up and thought that if I just showed him how hopeless of a case I was, he would give up.

That first run was a total disaster. We took off in the Louisiana summer heat and after what seemed like a lifetime, Boyfriend said, "We're almost to the half mile point."  And I almost stopped and cried right there. And the sad part was that I hadn't even run that entire half mile.  I had walked a good bit of that.  I tried not to show it, but I felt so defeated and useless.  I was really that out of shape.  I convinced Boyfriend to let us head back to the car.  As I walked back, my mind was changing.  I had to accept that, in the case of a Zombie Apocalypse, I would definitely be one of the first ones bitten.  And I was not ok with that.

Source: obstacol.com via Tamara on Pinterest

I tried again the next day.  And the next day.  And the next day. And I kept trying.  Everyday I ran was a personal victory.  My running time around a small lake near LSU's campus (approx. 1.8 miles) kept improving.  I was able to add distance and increase my speed.  Every run was a new test.  Somedays were better than others, but everyday I ran was a day I could be proud of.  At my best, I could run about 2.75 miles around the campus lakes in just over 30 minutes.  Take that, Presidential Fitness Test!

Then, the running stopped.  Don't ask me why.  I have a million excuses.  None of them were good.  I was too tired.  Or my head hurt.  Or I had eaten a heavy lunch.  Or my legs were sore.  Or it was too hot outiside.  Or the treadmills were all full.  Or Toddlers and Tiaras was on.  Excuses, excuses, excuses.  And it wasn't just me.  Boyfriend had stopped too.  Life was crazy and unpredictable.  It was hard to keep any sort of routine when you didn't know where your life was going to take you in the next few days.

This week, I ran out of excuses.  Boyfriend has found time of top of his full time job to start running.  My entire family started running this year and has never let excuses stop them.  If they could do it, then there was absolutely no reason why I couldn't do it.  So this past Saturday, I dragged myself to my apartment's fitness center and made myself get on the treadmill.  While I was proud of myself for making myself go and do it, I was discouraged at how much I had regressed in my time off.  After a mile and a half, I had to stop.  My running:walking ratio was a little too even for my taste and my time sucked. So I went back the next day and pushed myself just a little further.  And then a little further the next day. 

Last night was a rare night.  I didn't have rehearsal, so I was able to run with Chris around the lakes at LSU.  He likes to run the larger like, so it was just me, my iPod, and the small lake.  Honestly,  I didn't have high expectations for the run.  I was exhausted and I had a killer headache.  I thought I would just go through the motions and get my legs reacclimated to running on solid ground again.

So, with that in mind, I started my run. 

Imagine my surprise when I didn't stop until I returned to that same starting point 1.8 miles and 22 minutes later.  My best run ever!  I had never run that far without stopping before!  I actually danced a little with I reached my finishing point.  I may have even cheered!  I'm sure I looked silly, but who cares!  I had just done something that seemed impossible to me just six months ago!

Something clicked within me after that run.  Not only did I feel amazing and unstoppable.  I felt a new sense of control over my life that I didn't realize I was missing.  I was no longer kicking myself for taking so long off of running.  Instead, I felt empowered.  Instead of focusing on the choices I've made in the past, I was thinking of all of the new choices that I will be able to make tomorrow—not just in running, but in every aspect of my life.  I was reminded that I have the potential to do amazing things, like run 1.8 miles without stopping.  All I have to do is lace up my shoes and take those first few steps.

It's funny how we can surprise even ourselves.

Source: prettygirlstraindirty.tumblr.com via Emily on Pinterest

Brain Dump

1.  My brain is a huge mess of "Waaaaaaaaaa" tonight from watching the same 3 episodes of "On the Fly" and Jenna Marbles videos all night.

2.  When I go in the shower with eye make-up on, I come out looking like a sad raccoon.

vs.



3. You can see up my nose in that picture.


4.  I am listening to 2 boys on Skype argue about where to put pizza in the oven and how to operate said oven.  "Why would you hang it on the oven?"  "Because it reminds me of home!" Boys are silly.

5.  One of those 2 boys is Boyfriend, who is currently unavailable.  Thus the Skype.  I mainly watch him play Diablo while he watches me stare at the computer like a hypnotic loon.

6.  Summer sales made me a very happy person today. I think I tried on the entire sale section of The Limited.

7.  I got creative/bored tonight and painted all of my keys with nail polish tonight so I could tell them apart more easily. Now all of my keys are stuck together.

8.  I'm still new to this running thing, so I don't quite know what I'm supposed to do on the days that I take a break from running.  Today was one of those rest days.  I shopped and then ate McDonald's.

9.  Boyfriend was eating a pizza on Skype and was chewing with his mouth open (a sund which drives me up the freaking wall!).  So I kindly asked him to chew with is mouth closed.  He thought he would be clever and mute it so that I couldn't hear anything.  So I thought I would be clever and hang up on him, expecting him to call me back.  Well, that plan back fired.  Boyfriend never called me back.  Now I'm super sad, but also to stubborn to call him again with my tail between my legs.

10.  Woah!  Just kidding.  Boyfriend called me back.  Good things come to those who wait.  Or those who are stubborn.

11.  My room is a freaking mess.  I don't even know where all this stuff came from.  I started to clean it and then kind of hit a wall. I just can't make myself do any more work, despite the fact that my clean underwear supply is getting dangerously low.

12.  I think I'm going to order Jimmy John's even though I didn't run and I've already had McDonald's today and it is 1:00 in the morning.

13.  I ordered Jimmy John's.  Now I need to find clean pants to put on so the JJs delivery guy doesn't sue me for sexual harassment when he gets here.  Or vomit on my sandwich.

14. I can't end a list on #13.  So please enjoy this mantee.

Oh...Uh...Hi?

*cough* Uh...hello?  Is anybody there?  I wouldn't be surprised if everybody left me for more consistent bloggers.  I mean, it has been over a month since I last posted.  But I swear that I have a good excuse for my absence!  Life has kind of exploded lately.

First, 39 Steps, a show that I assistant stage managed at Baton Rouge Little Theater, opened.  

Me and my good friend Ronald, who played Richard Hannay.

That same weekend, I had the final rehearsals for and the performance of Singo de Mayo, as a part of my musical theatre class at school!  I had such a blast this year.  Look for a blog post about it in the near future.

Singo de Mayo was on a Sunday.  The following Monday, finals week began with a double final day.  Yikes!  Luckily, all of my finals were done by Wednesday, so I got a little break during the day Thursday before 39 Steps started again that night.  We had a show Thursday night, Friday night, TWO shows Saturday, and a matinee on Sunday.

Our stage manager, Mel, and the light board operator, Ms. Ellen.  Saturday was Ms. Ellen's birthday, so we went out for dinner between shows to celebrate!

I wasn't feeling so great after the show on Sunday.  I was nauseous, shaky, and exhausted.  By Sunday night, it had developed into a full blown Summer Flu that was making it's way through Baton Rouge.  I tried to just wait it out to see if it would go away on it's own, but when Tuesday came and I still felt like crap, I gave in and made a doctors appointment.  And it's a good thing I did!  Even though my flu symptoms were on their way out by the time I had my appointment Wednesday morning, the doctor heard rattling in my lungs and ordered me to get a chest x-ray, which showed that I had developed pneumonia!  The pneumonia actually wasn't nearly as bad as the flu.  It just made me really tired.  The timing sucked though, because my brother and grandmother came were in town that same weekend.  I barely had enough energy to even go out to dinner with them!  But I trucked through.  I was still able ASM the final weekend of 39 Steps.

I was still at risk for being contagious until 24 hours after I had taken my first anti-biotic, so I wore a mask my first night back at 39 Steps just to be safe.  I didn't want to risk getting anyone sick!  We needed everyone as healthy as possible for this show!

I also had just enough energy to go the LSU School of Music and Dramatic Arts Commencement Ceremony on Friday.  Why?  Because Chris graduated college (again)!  This was actually Chris's second degree.  He graduated with his music education degree a couple of years ago.  This year, he finished up his music performance degree.  Yep, I got me a smart one. :) Congratulations, Chris!

So proud of him :)

By Sunday night, I could feel the pneumonia fog lifting, just in time for me to start two weeks of babysitting during the day, which I absolutely loved.   After babysitting wrapped up, Summer school began!  But not before a busy Saturday.  Saturday the 2nd began with a rehearsal for an LSU Musical Theatre Troupe performance.  Eight of us had to revamp, edit, and, in some cases, learn completely new parts for musical numbers we did in Singo de Mayo so that we could perform them in Vidalia, La. As soon as I was done with the rehearsal, I drove to Lafayette to volunteer at the Louisiana Speech and Hearing Association Conference, which was such an awesome opportunity.  I served as a session monitor for a class on Vestibular Assessment and Management (which means assessment and treatment of balance and dizziness issues as they relate to the ear).  The target audience for the class was audiologists.  Even though I'm on a speech pathology path in school, I still found this class really interesting (probably because it's so different from what I'm focusing on)!  The speaker was great and I learned so much.  I wish I could have stayed for more of the conference, but I couldn't because I had to go home and get ready for...

...Beaux Arts Ball!  Every year, Baton Rouge Little Theater has a ball to honor and recognize all of the volunteers from the past season!  It's always so much fun.  There's mingling, food (really good food!), dancing, and an awards ceremony. The awards ceremony is kind of like a mini-Tony's awards. They give awards for Best Actor and Supporting Actor in a Comedy/Drama and a Musical and Best Actress and Supporting Actress in a Comedy/Drama and Musical.  The nominees and winners for those awards are chosen by a completely anonymous group of people.  I actually won Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy/Drama a couple years back for my role as Sybil Chase in Private Lives.  This year, 2 cast members from A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum won awards, as did 2 cast members from 39 Steps! They also give awards for best Backstage and Front of House Volunteers, of which the winners of both were incredibly deserving. 

A fun addition to Beaux Arts this year was a photo booth.  Photos by Staci set up a fun photo booth and provided lots of props for us to use in the photos.  Thanks to Dow Louisiana Federal Credit Union for sponsoring this (as well as our entire season)!

This was my 5th Beaux Arts Awards!  And my first one with Chris!

We brought our friends Mike and Elyse to the ball this year to add to the fun!

Summer school started up this week.  I'm taking my last general education Spanish course (finally)!  I'm really lucky this summer in that I've got a really awesome teacher who actually makes the language interesting and easier to learn.  Spanish really is a beautiful language.  It's just easy to forget that when your being tested on it.

Finally, this past Thursday, I took a trip up "north" with my mom and Chris to perform with 7 other musical theatre students for the fine citizens of Vidalia, Louisiana... in a bank!  We did fourteen musical numbers, including "Anything Goes" from Anything Goes, "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair" from South Pacific, "Seasons of Love," from Rent, and a medley from Jersey Boys (which is such a huge crowd pleaser!).  We had such a great turn out and everyone really seemed to love the show.  Chris played the drums for us and my mom got to fim it.  I'm so glad she got to come :)

Rehearsing "Seasons of Love"

Jersey Silly Boys

All of us with our teacher, the fantastic Terry Patrick-Harris!

"To drum or not to drum?"

I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair!

"Seasons of Love"

So yes, life has been very busy for me lately.  But it's also been very good to me lately.  Sure, there may have been a few inconveniences.  But there has been so much love in my life and I've had so many wonderful opportunities lately!  I'm happy.

I'm not complaining :)

May the 4th Be With You!

Happy Star Wars Day!   I know I'm such a dork!

It's Friday, which means it's time to fill in some blanks!  But before we get to that, let me fill you in on what I've been up to lately.

First of all, it's dead week here at LSU, but I personally believe it should be called "Death Week."  School life is super busy with classes wrapping up.  I've been using every free second I have to study.  Well except for the seconds I'm using to write this blog post.  But this is for my own personal health!   There's so much in my brain right now that I'm having trouble thinking through the simplest things (What's my name again?).  I need a brain dump!

One of the big parts of dead week for me this year is preparing for Singo De Mayo. What is that, you ask?  Well, this semester, I am taking LSU's only (undergrad) Musical Theatre class (C'mon, LSU, get with the times!).  For our final exam, we are performing a showcase of songs from musical theatre this Sunday, May 6, at 7:30 PM in the Shaver Theatre in LSU's MDA Building.  This showcase is called "Singo de Mayo."  It really is a ton of fun and we always have a huge crowd, but it's a lot of hard work! It really is amazing all that we can do and get accomplished in one semester.  If you're in the Baton Rouge Area, you should definitely check it out!  Go to http://www.music.lsu.edu/ for tickets!  OR, if you're not in the Baton Rouge area, you can watch the whole thing streamed live at http://www.ustream.tv/channel/lsu-school-of-music.

As if that didn't keep me busy enough, I am also also assistant stage managing The 39 Steps at Baton Rouge Little Theater.  We've been in tech rehearsal all week and the show opens tonight.  And you definitely don't want to miss it! This show is absolutely hilarious!  It's pretty tech heavy too.  Luckily, the crew is absolutely fantastic.  They are so on top of everything and make my job so much easier.  I am having such a blast working with them and the cast!  It opens tonight and runs through May 20th.  For ticket info, go to www.brlt.org.

And, to top it all off, the boyfriend has started making me run (something that my body just wasn't meant to do).  Guys, I totally suck at running.  After about a quarter of a mile, I'm ready to crawl into a hole and die.  Right now, we're running the "small" lake at LSU and every time we pass ducks, I always beg them to let me stay with them.  Did y'all know that ducks have a stink eye?  I've been using the Nike +GPS iPhone app, which, in theory, is pretty cool because it tracks your route and pace and how many calories you've burned.  But then when you check your pace and it looks like this, it doesn't seem as cool anymore...

Look at all that red....just sitting there being so.....red.  Stop taunting me, red!

So, yes, life is crazy busy at the moment.  But it's a good kind of busy.  I'm busy with things that I truly love doing (well, except the running.....but supposedly I will eventually get good enough at it that I'll actually be able to tolerate it.  And then (hopefully) I'll eventually enjoy it.  Supposedly...).  Still, I'll be very relieved once I make it to Wednesday and I'll be able to take school out of the equation for a while.

Oh, and on a slightly unrelated note, my allergies have been a beast this week!  Has anyone else been having major allergy problems like I have? 

Fill in the blanks on your own blog and link up here.

1.  My bedtime routine includes taking a shower, brushing my teeth, and washing my face.  I hate going to bed feeling gross and dirty.  Once I'm in bed, I usually spend about 30 minutes or so on my laptop or watching tv.  I know sleep experts say you're not supposed to do that, but I do it anyway.  It works for me!  Of course, that's on a normal day.  Lately, my night time routine has consisted of just falling and hoping I hit the bed. Because once I'm down, I'm not getting back up.

2. I am super busy this weekend, but also super excited about this weekend.  I'll spend tomorrow afternoon studying, but other than that, I'll be doing theater stuff all weekend!  I'm super excited for Singo on Sunday night!

3. I can't stand fruit because of the smell and texture. Yuck!!

4.  My idea of relaxation would be a week at the beach with a book, Pinterest, and people I love.  Luckily, I get that every year. :)

5.  If I had an extra $50, I would use it for gas or put it toward my credit card bill.  I know, that's not a very interesting answer, but that's life, you know?

6.  A recipe I've been dying to try is anything on any of my food Pinterest boards!  For example...

Source: kalynskitchen.com via Emily on Pinterest

Pesto and Mozzerella Stuffed Chicken Breasts

Source: closetcooking.com via Emily on Pinterest

Artichoke Bread

Source: crockpotladies.com via Emily on Pinterest

Crock Pot Cheesecake

Have a wonderful weekend!

Miss That Dog

I want to thanks everybody who has been praying for my dog Hunter and my family.  Sadly, we had to put Hunter to sleep this past Friday.

Hunter had surgery almost two weeks ago and showed signs of improvement in the days following.  However,  tests results indicated that the tumor that my mother removed from him was metastatic cancer that had most likely spread.  His condition suddenly began to worsen last Thursday and continued to deteriorate Friday.  Although my family is absolutely heart broken over losing him, we knew that it would be unfair and selfish of us to keep him alive for our sake.  He was an amazing dog that didn't deserve to feel any pain.

I love and miss you, Hunter.  I hope there's lots of peanut butter and hummus for you in doggie heaven!

Love That Dog

Hunter's had a rough week.

My family's had a rough week too.  

First of all, I would like to thank all of my Twitter followers who prayed for my family and for Hunter this week.  

In the simplest of terms, Hunter had a mess in his G.I. Tract.  Anyone who's taken an intro Biology class knows what the G.I. Tract is responsible for, so I won't go into the detail of his symptoms.  My parents noticed that something was wrong with Hunter last week.  My mother, a veterinarian, had an idea of what might be wrong and began treatment for it.  However, the treatment didn't work and Hunter's condition weakened.  My parent's began to suspect something worse was afoot.  I was busy with school and theater while this was going on, but on Monday, my dad called me, explained the situation, and suggested that I go home to see Hunter while I still could.  At the time, Hunter was still comfortable and content, but his condition was deteriorating.  He was weak and fatigued, his appetite was practically zero, and the spark was gone from his eye.  I spent the entire afternoon lying on the kitchen floor next to Hunter while he slept.  I just wanted to be with him when I still could.  When I left that afternoon, I said, "Goodbye," like it would be the last one.  

Misty napped next to Hunter a litte on Monday afternoon.  These two have a special bond and she knew something was wrong.

We had two options.  One was to keep him as comfortable as possible and let nature run its course.  The moment we thought he was in any pain or discomfort, we would put him to sleep.  Hunter has been too wonderful of a dog and we love him too dearly to keep him in pain just for our sake.  The other option was to open him up and see what was in his abdomen.  Hunter is a very old dog and whatever was in there left him weak and anemic, so surgery was risky.  If my mom found something so catastrophic that it had spread and couldn't be removed or if she found cancer, she would put him to sleep right on the operating table.  Once again, we love him too much to make him endure that pain for our sake.  My father and I ultimately left the choice up to my mom, who was by far the most knowledgeable.  When it comes to my animals, I have complete faith in my mom and I would never doubt her actions or opinions.

We decided to try the surgery.  So, on Tuesday afternoon and through the night, Hunter received a blood transfusion to prepare him.  We are so incredibly grateful for a co-worker of my mothers who offered to donate blood from her dog, who is a universal donor, to Hunter.  I came home again on Tuesday night to spend more time with Hunter.  

Yes, that's part of Hunter's blood transfusion.  The bag was still too cool to give it to him, so I warmed it up on my stomach. :)

At one point, I just lied next to Hunter and listened to his snore.  It broke my heart to think that could be the last time I heard it.

We weren't hopeful about the surgery, so once again, when I left that night, I said my "goodbyes" like they would be our last.

I don't think I stopped praying for a single second on Wednesday.  I can't even tell you specifically what I prayed for.  On one hand, I just wanted him to survive the surgery.  On the other, I just didn't want him to hurt. I think I just prayed for his protection and for God to watch over my mom and the vet that would be assisting her with the surgery.  I was attached to my phone all day waiting to hear word. 

At 3:22 pm, my prayers were answered.  Hunter survived the surgery.  When I got to see Hunter on Wednesday night, I was just so grateful.  I had said final goodbyes to Hunter 2 nights in a row, but he was still with us.  This dog doesn't give up! And I'm so glad we didn't either.  

We're still not out of the woods, though.  While we hope we found the problem, it's possible that there could be something else lurking in Hunter's abdomen that's causing trouble.  We're kind of in the "Hurry up and wait" phase now.  Hopefully, we'll see improvement in Hunter's condition and demeanor over the next several days.  If we don't...well....I guess we'll worry about that if we get there. But for the time being, I'm remembering not to take anyone for granted.  Not my friends, not my family, and especially not Hunter.  Your pets are part of your family and I almost lost an important member of my family this week.  I may still lose him in the coming days.  But I don't want to think about that right now.  All I want to think about is making the most out of the time I have left with him, no matter how much time that may be.  

Hunter is the dog of hope!

If you have a pet, be it a dog, cat, fish, turtle, snack, raccoon, or rock, give them some love today.  I think we sometimes forget just how special they are until we almost lose them.

Farewell to Forum

The past few weeks have been insane to say the least.  Yesterday, I closed A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum at Baton Rouge Little Theater.  That show really surprised me.  To be honest, I went into the show just looking for my theater fix!  I hadn't done any theater in over a year and was starting to get a little twitchy.  But Forum turned out to be one of the top theater experiences of my life thus far.  I made so many amazing new friends and, with the help of those friends, experienced a lot of personal growth.  This cast truly kept all the drama onstage and just enjoyed being with each other offstage.  And you know what, guys?  I've been smiling so much these past few weeks, and it's all thanks to the wonderful people this show has brought into my life!

The wonderful ladies of the cast!  We had a ritual that we did before every show called TTA.  What does it stand for?  Well, that's our little secret!

The entire cast of Forum!

At the end of the final show, we had to do something called "strike," which basically means "tear the show down."  You clear out and clean the dressing rooms, put away the props, and tear the set down.  

Girl power!

Last time around!

Yesterday's strike was different from a regular strike in that in addition to tearing down the set, we had to strip the entire stage to prepare it for an upgrade. This included taking down the legs and the curtains and stripping all of the lights off of the fly rails.  Once everything was out of the theater, we all felt so small. 

Standing on the completely empty stage reminded me just how amazing theatre really is.  At it's heart, theatre is essentially a space, a person (or a group of people), and an idea.  You start there and it grows into something truly amazing that can take a person away from whatever is troubling them, even if it's just for a little bit.  I mean, how cool is that?

And theatre has a really neat way of bringing people together—people who probably never would have crossed paths otherwise.  But theatre brings them together and something just clicks.  Forum brought a wonderful person to me.  Blogosphere, meet Chris.

Chris was our drummer for Forum.

 He makes me happy.

I always feel sad at the end of a show–sad because I'll miss performing, I'll miss the characters, and because I'l miss the people.  But I didn't feel sadness yesterday.  I felt excited!  Yesterday may have been the end of Tintinabula and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.  But it's only the beginning of so many new and amazing friendships.  And I can't wait to see where those friendships take me!